Playground.

I felt guilt.

I felt badly for my undone, unspoken crimes. They took place in my mind, they became real. I was a criminal, hidden away from your sight and melting away under another sun.
For the first time ever, I truly spoke about you and now, after that, you feel so less real. You've become a blurry dream, one I am unsure I ever dreamed.

There's a side of me that seeks comfort in your eyes, upon your gaze, between your arms. Where is that side now? It feels lost but yet, it's here.
For the first time in what looks like a lifetime, I had a dream and it had nothing to do with you.

We were together, as we usually are. We, not us. We were never alone. We lived surrounded by friends, family, a driver.
In my dream, we walked together side by side and on a cab, traveling somewhere. We drove past a known clothing store, I laughed only wishing to become the echo of your own laughter.
He was joking and I poked at him, we played. We were children playing around.
Strange enough, we arrived somewhere and a kids party was being hosted but we had our own game. We hid, we walked, we discovered the house, the farm, whatever the place was.
My family began asking questions about you, about an non existent 'us'. I frowned, I freaked.

I tried to find you. I ran, I looked and I found your eyes. We grew closer and closer, your eyes still meeting mine, our eyes locked. I could even feel you breathing heavily.
My heart didn't rush, it raced nowhere. It kept calm and moved on. It has never been truly you, never completely him.

We didn't kiss. I pulled apart.
You did too. You were late, you were supposed to be home by seven.
We drove back to your house, I couldn't get away from you. I don't know why, I can't explain. I just wanted to keep sharing with you.
We were there, again, never alone. You live in a green complex, as many others. Your parents where angry and their tongues felt like a burning hell. Your friends- who were somehow there- and I, we stood by your side.
And just then I woke up.